Soldier
by high.fiving.jesus
Summary: Got to go, looks like we're under a small attack. I'll see ya soon.
1. Not 'til I'm home

**New! Yay, I love new! When I use the Arabic language, every e has two dots over it.**

**Summary: All grown up and taking on life, Chad and Sonny are married and excited. In order to change, Chad's quit acting temporarily and joined the military. It's new and exciting, but what happens when two men show up with a letter and a document to be signed. Is Sonny keeping a secret of her own?**

**(???)**

The lights shone dully through the sack thrown carelessly over my head. Shadows danced across my eyes with determination and pure hatred towards me.

"You, you speak English?" a man with a thick accent interrogated me. He poked me once or twice with the barrel of his gun and grunted through the smoke from the hut.

I nodded and blinked as he pulled the bag from my head. The lights blinded me and a bug floated around my head. I shook it off and looked up at the two men guarding me. Two guys to guard someone tied to a chair is ridiculous.

"I know you somewhere." The other man spoke in broken English, "You act good?" I nodded slowly, looking between the two. One of them laughed, smiling brightly, and hit the others gut. I'll call them doofus one and doofus two. Two can be the fat guy.

"Bring girl. Sillni daugter tim!" two shot behind a curtain. A woman with many beads and veils peeked around the cloth and studied me. She nodded and pulled the curtain closed.

"Laj enet! Laj enet!" _wash up! wash up! _Came muffled from behind the curtain. Dust mixed with the dirt and clung to my face. Doofus two puffed smoke into my face every time he laughed.

A little girl shyly walked through the curtain and smiled, hiding behind her father. I knew some Albanian and this seemed like a normal house here.

"Papa, baba!" _papa,_ "Kjo eshte e tij, nga televizioni!" _It is him, from the television!_

"Yes girl, this him?" he smiled and placed his hand on her back, pushing her towards me. "You make happy, my girl, yes?" I looked at him confused but nodded anyway. "Listen, girl, nuk e them emrin e tij, eshte e djallit_." _I was confused even more so, _don't say his name, it is the devil's._

She nodded and looked at my face. She neared and put a hand up, then poked me. I flinched and looked down at her small face. "You do scene?" I shook my head.

Number one stabbed my foot with the barrel of his gun and grunted. I winced and nodded, "Which one?"

"Watch television, it pick for us?" she bounced to the set and twisted the knob. The screen burst to life, lights flashed and danced across the room. The walls danced with brilliant colors, the curtains changing every second.

"Are you ready to get _So Random!_?" a voice came over the intercom. I smiled and looked down at the ground. I missed America, the randoms, especially Sonny.

"Sonny! Sonny! Baba, it's e saj!" _Papa, it's her!_ I looked at the girl dancing as her father smiled and laughed, his belly shook. Gross.

"Check it out, I got a puppy!" Tawni bounced.

"Check it out, me too!" Sonny smiled, "Check it out dance?"

"Check it out dance!" the music blared through the set and the girls bopped their hips and twirled around. I hid a small smile and watched the girl carefully try to follow the steps.

"Girl, we watch his show, learn his lines." Her father put a hand on her shoulder as she quickly changed the channel.

"Tune in tonight for an interview with Sonny Cooper and Tawni Hart!" the man winked as the show switched to a commercial.

"Hold up," I straightened up to watch the screen. The girl twisted to look at me and backed away. Commercials for new cars that I could drive and new security systems for a house I could have, if I stayed an actor, flashed across the screen.

"We're back with the stars of _So Random!_, for quite a while, Sonny, no longer Monroe, Cooper and Tawni Hart! Welcome girls!" the man flashed them an overly white smile and winked. He motioned to the arm chairs placed side by side and sat behind his desk.

The little girl smiled, looking between me and Sonny, and walked over to me. "You know her?" I nodded.

"I left her three months ago," I looked at the child.

"You sad. Don't see her no more?" she furrowed her brow.

"I can't as long as I'm here." I looked back at the screen to see Tawni beaming and Sonny just barely managing a smirk.

**(SPOV)**

I smiled as best as I could without looking over excited. I wrote Chad a letter last month containing the greatest news. "So girls, what's it like to be more grown up and still on a kids show?"

"Well it really keeps us in touch with our inner child!" I explained.

"And I think it'll help Sonny out more than ever!" Tawni burst out giggling. Our host examined me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing, just that I'm babysitting some kids next week," I improvised poorly.

He raised his eyebrows but moved on, "So, where's Mr. Cooper right now?"

"Uh, he actually gave acting a break and is off in Afghanistan," I explained, trying to hold back tears and kept a smile on my face.

"Well, that's a big difference from Hollywood's bad boy and drama king!" he laughed, "Well, my best wishes. Ms. Hart, rumor has it that you're dating… care to share?"

"Well, I couldn't… if you insist!" she burst, "James is absolutely fabulous!" I frowned, _why didn't she tell me?_

"James Conroy? I'm surprised, I would think Mr. Harris or someone else." The host looked out to the audience and chuckled. "Well, Mrs. Cooper, I hear you'll be holding a press conference soon… care to share?"

"Yeah, I plan on sharing some family surprises involving my mom and other members, and I'd like to talk about when Chad should be coming back."

"Very nice," he turned back to the camera, "Sonny'll elaborate right after these commercials!" the lights died down slightly and the audience erupted with applause.

~:*:~

"Sonny, what's wrong? Why didn't you tell anyone?" Tawni pouted.

I shrugged, "I want to wait for Chad's reply. He promised to stay in touch." I explained as we threw our coats over the back of my couch. My blonde friend promised to stay at my house until Chad returned.

"Well, he better reply soon!" she complained.

I laughed and went to open the door when I heard a knock. As soon as I pulled the door open, I regretted.

"Mrs. Cooper?" I nodded slowly with my mouth open slightly, "We're very sorry ma'am." The men wore their suits, complete with white hats and metals.

I covered my mouth and shook my head, "You're lying." The man looked at his companion and handed me two envelopes with regret in his eyes. They were labeled, one with my name in pen and the other with the official military stamp.

"What is it Sonny?" Tawni came up behind me and gasped at the packets in my hands. "Oh Sonny,"

I shook my head and invited the men in for coffee. They thanked me but refused as I shut my door gently. I dropped the off white envelopes onto my dining room table and took a seat in front of them. Staring at them, I decided to open the one addressed to me.

_Hey sweetheart,_

_I'm so excited! Wish I was with you right now to help out. I should be back soon, but it's getting pretty rough over here. Enemy's been on our tail since an accidental bombing on their tents… which was set off by one of their own. Skies are grey and full of annoying clouds that hide the sun. You're all I can think about and I'm grateful for every second. This is totally different then being on a set or being a jerk, because these guys would kill me (not literally) if I messed with them. Anyway, I miss you and I can't wait to come back._

_Got to go, looks like we're under a small attack. I'll see ya soon, and… the paper smudged from a small ground shake so I really got to go!_

_Love you,_

_Chad_

Now I was scared to open the second…

**Just tell me if I should continue or delete. I know it's very different but I got an idea and I always go with what pops into my head. R&R!**


	2. Trudge and tell

**Wow! Lots of reviews for only being up for around a half hour! Okay, I'm updating because of horsechick995, Jasmine James, BrandNewEyes929, and ChannyFan4ever!**

**(SPOV)**

No. No. No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen; not to me, not now! I shakily reached for the manila envelope and drew in an even shakier breath.

"Sonny, maybe you should…" I looked at my friend and turned back to the envelope containing something dreadful, absolutely terrible. After taking in another breath I snatched up the folder and hastily opened it, like a woman on a mission.

_To whom this may concern,_

_We, the U.S. Marine corp., are sad to announce the tragedy that should be the very death of a Petty Officer Chad Cooper-_

I broke into a fit of tears, throwing the folder onto the ground and pulling my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around myself and cried, cried until there was nothing left but my soul to pour out.

Tawni stared at me sympathetically and looked at the face-down paper. She reached out for it and held it in front of herself, reading every line carefully.

"Sonny, I- I'm so sorry." She whispered, a tear running down her cheek. Hurriedly moving toward me, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and silent tears ran down her face.

He was all I ever needed; even when we were fighting everyone knew we would be together forever. Now he was gone. "Maybe some music will clear your mind?" she looked at me hopefully, but gave up after multiply head nods and numerous 'no's.

"So, what're you gonna say... at the press conference?" she held me tighter when I started crying even harder. Why? Why me? Why now?

"I- I don't know… that he wouldn't be returning… except for the burial." I murmured and gently pushed her away from me. Standing up, I walked to the kitchen and pulled out a mug and some milk.

"What are you doing?" she quietly made her way toward me.

"Making hot chocolate…" I whispered. She gasped and pulled the chocolate mix from my grasp.

"Sonny! Why are you gonna do that to yourself?!" she looked offended. She wasn't worried about carbs or some weird disease I'd never heard of, she was talking of the heart. Yeah, Chad and I would sit on our porch drinking hot chocolate, talking and laughing, when we first got married.

"Tawni, please?" I whispered looking at the ground. My eyes burned with tears but they wouldn't fall. They sat at the corners of my eyes threatening.

"No, we are going to Zora's or to the studio and calling an emergency meeting!" she declared, obviously not well with pain. The tears flowed freely again as I rushed to our- I mean my room and shut the door. I twisted the lock and jumped on my bed, cradling my face in my hands and crying. All the tears just took over.

**(TPOV)**

Poor Sonny!

"Nico, meet me and the cast at the prop house in ten." I hung up without hearing a word from his sweet- I did not just think Nico had a sweet voice!

I turned toward her bedroom door and sighed. I felt almost as bad, the tears threatened me too, but only because Chad and I had somehow become friends when he went out with Sonny.

I whispered a goodbye and a quick apology before leaving the house and getting into my car. Driving off to the studio, I called up Marshal, "Can you meet us in the prop house?"

"What for?" he yawned, obviously exhausted from the interview.

"I just want a meeting… about Sonny." I add quietly. Not quiet enough.

"What about her?" he yawned again, obviously bored.

"I'll tell you if you come." I offered, then hung up without another word.

I pulled up to my parking space and shut off the engine, staring at the windshield. After a few minutes of silence, I grabbed my Gucci bag and got out of my car.

I trudged through the lit snow that I hadn't noticed before and smiled quickly at the guard. _This is for Sonny_. I kept repeating over and over. I slowly made my way to the prop house, occasionally glancing at Chad's old set, and felt my tears well up in my eyes.

I plopped down on the old couch that Chad tried to take and looked at the photo booth that held the rat that scared Chad away. He was everywhere; every memory of him lingered in these halls and rooms that I used to love so much… even if I'd never admit it.

"Hey. What's up?" Nico smiled with the rest of the cast behind him. When he caught sight of me crying silently, his expression changed and he raced to my side. "What's wrong?" everyone noticed my mood when my sobs where no longer silent, just muffled by my hands.

"It's Sonny!" I muttered, "She… and-and… Chad…"

"They got a divorce?" Zora piped up curiously.

"Oh, Sonny realized that he's still a jerk, huh?" anger boiled up inside of me as I threw a pillow at Grady's head.

"Shut up!" I screeched and wiped the cool tears from my cheeks and carefully from my eyes. "He's… he's not coming back to America," I reasoned.

"Why? See, he is a jerk for abandoning Sonny!" Grady plopped down next to Nico as I growled at him.

"No!" Don't they ever listen! "I'm trying to be discrete here!"

"Well stop! You're hurting my head!" Grady and Zora complained, while Marshal and Nico caught on.

"Oh no," Marshal muttered and sat down absentmindedly. "This can't be. Is Sonny okay?" he glanced at me.

"No, she's not. She's at home crying her eyes out and didn't want me to tell," I explained, guilt eating at me. _It was the right thing to do._

"Well, why are we still here?! Let's go!" Nico rushed towards the door and disappeared from sight.

"Nico, she needs time," Marshal reasoned. "Let's wait until we see her again."

Nico growled, but reluctantly returned to his spot. I sobbed just like Sonny. The tears, every memory, I tried to drain, to just forget. Stupid Chad had to be one of a kind!

**(???)**

"You turn!" the girl squealed. I rolled my eyes, but picked up the game piece and moved up two spaces. "Back! You go back! I WIN!"

I smiled and threw my hands up slowly. Entertaining this girl was as easy as acting or breathing. "You win." I frowned.

"We watch, yes?" she held up a remote and clicked buttons furiously. The TV remained blank, so I slowly got up and turned on the set. One wrong move and they'd blow me to oblivion.

"Koha per te shkuar! Koha per te shkuar!" _Time to go! Time to go!_, "Ne jemi nen sulm! Amerikanet i ndyre!" _We're under attack! Filthy Americans!_

I glanced at the girl quickly and flinched as a gun shot rang out. A bullet tore through the wall and soared through another one. I acted on instinct and grabbed the girl, as trained to protect and attack, throwing her over my shoulder and racing behind the two Doofus'.

I turned around to see the woman with the veil lying on the ground, eyes wide with a blank stare. I shook my head and turned to military mode.

"Move! Get to the woods!" I pushed the fatter one and ran out of the small hut with the others trailing behind. I secretly hoped I would be spotted and they would be pulled into a trap, but no help came, just more shots.

I zipped through the trees, my army greens blending, and directed the others to hiding spots. As the two guards shot back, a single shot caught my ear. It tore through Doofus one and another through the girl's father. I covered her eyes and ducked behind a tree. I toke in slow, deep breaths to make sure this was real.

I felt everything, the ground shook from tanks and the trees rustled as bullets whizzed through them. Every sound rang out loud and clear, lulling me into a dream. This dream involved the super ninja skills I had prayed for as a child.

I set the girl down and peeked around the tree. The Americans were shouting orders, waving others forward and I finally understood what we looked like. To them, we were monsters with big death machines and no care for them. Soulless monsters plucked from the darkest parts of hell. Yeah, Chad Cooper can be deep.

"Ziva, listen to me," I paused at the roar of a cannon, "we can't trust them right now. They mean well, but it's not safe for us." She looked lost. "Degjoni mua. Ne nuk mund te besojne ata tani. Ata kane qellime te mira, por kjo nuk eshte e sigurt per ne."

She nodded and looked around the tree. Another bullet whizzed by and she screamed bloody murder. "Sh!" I pulled her closer to me and inspected her, making sure she wasn't injured.

"Chad, they try to kill. Why?" how do you tell a young girl that her people killed millions of people for no reason? How do you explain an event as horrific as 911?

"There was an attack on America," I peered at who was shooting… Smitty.

I looked back at the girl and then glanced in front of us. A fox hole. I grabbed Ziva and ran as fast as possible, still ducking down. Glancing back, I noticed Smitty aiming for us, but I turned back and jumped in the hole. It wasn't a snake hole; it was an escape tunnel. We slipped down into the dark and landed with a 'thud'.

"Where we are?" she looked at me. Something hit me: Ziva was an orphan.

I shook my head and pulled out an emergency flashlight. Flicking it on, I saw tons of dead bugs and piled up dirt. This place, I estimated, was from around 1947.

"Ew." She scrunched her nose like Sonny always did and rolled her eyes. "I no go through."

"Yes, you are. Come on." I picked her up and let her hang from my hip, my arm wrapped around her tiny waste. I pulled out a switch blade and sawed through the tree roots and solid packs of dirt.

~:*:~

We stumbled through the dark, the moon following behind us, and managed to find an area to rest. She plummeted onto the tall, coarse grass and sighed.

"I tired," she yawned.

"Yeah, me too kiddo. Come on, I'll carry you." I picked her up and placed her on my shoulders like a father in Disney. _Sonny will never let you keep her… no attachments._

I trudged through the grasslands for about three hours as me feet started aching and my mind was yelling 'Time for beauty sleep!' Strange how times like these bring out your past.

**R&R! I know it's not that great, but it's really late and I'm tired. I'll be updating frequently over break because I'm lame and have no life, lol.**


	3. Tell me about it

**Heehee, whoops! I messed up so bad! Chad is not a Petty Officer (I got caught up in watching NCIS) he is definitely a Private First Class and I'm an idiot. :) Okay, I'm a rookie and this will probably be off mark for the military stuff, but bare with me. When I pull up a search engine my computer has a spaz attack. :(**

**(TPOV)**

"Come on, I'm not waiting for Monday for all of us to get to comfort her." I declared to my cast and producer. Marshal gave me a stern look, "You can't be serious!"

He shook his head, "She needs time. We should wait."

"No, she needs something to keep her mind off of it!" I snapped. _When did I get so moody?_

"Come on guys, stop fighting," Zora pleaded, "This isn't helping anyone." Nico and Grady nodded in agreement.

"Fine, I guess you're right," Marshal sighed returning to his normal composure of friendliness, "How 'bout we visit tomorrow?"

I shook my head, "I'm afraid to have Sonny try to comfort herself. Who knows what could happen. She could… you know…" I pulled my finger across my neck without wanting to say anything like that, not about Sonny. My cast shivered.

"Tawni, how could you say that about Sonny?" Nico barked.

"Look, I'm just saying." I put my hands up in defense, "Her and Chad were really close. When he left what did she do? Asked someone to stay with her. When I left my manager I asked to stay with her. It's a woman's instinct to surround herself with friends and family when she's hurting."

Marshal rolled his eye but nodded in agreement. Everyone but Nico seemed to think this the best option. "I don't know, what if she gets mad over the slightest thing? We could make things worse."

I shook my head, "Sonny is not like that. She'll be welcoming and open to us." I nodded. _I know people Harris._

"Fine, let's go." He stood up once more, slightly more resistant, and left the room silently. I never knew Cooper could have such a huge effect on all of us.

~:*:~

"Nico! Don't you dare touch my mirror, especially when I'm driving!" I smacked his hand away, still focusing on the road. Zora, Grady, and Marshal all crowded into the backseat uncomfortably.

We were about two blocks from Sonny and Ch- I mean, just Sonny's house. I stared at the honey glazed road ahead of me in concentration. What else was I going to do? Stare at the mopping faces?

Everyone remained silent and looked out the windows except for Zora, who was placed so cleverly in the middle of Marshal and Grady. I glanced at their distant stares from my rear view mirror and sighed heavily. "So."

"So?" they returned in unison.

"Well, how 'bout some music?" I shrugged playfully and turned up the stereo.

_I-I-I cry, never gonna hold the hand of another guy._

_Too young for him, they told her,_

_Waitin' on the love of a travelin' soldier-_

I quickly turned the sound off. Okay, not my best idea. How about a CD?

I popped in Anna Nalick just for the heck of it.

_He was a soldier, he always was._

_He left his city to fight for America._

_And we fell in love to music, Ah-ah-ah._

"Really?" I snarled slamming my thumb down on the power button. "Is this God's way of punishment?!" I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Actually Tawni, God doesn't-" I shot her a look and she shut her mouth leaning back in her seat.

"Are we there yet?" Grady whined.

"No!" I shot almost instantly after which startled everyone. I rested my head on the door, propping it up on my elbow. With the roll of my eyes I noticed her street name and took a sharp turn without hesitation or a thought of the cars coming my way. I heard the breaks squealing and angered people but I kept going. Everyone refused to make a noise.

I pulled my white convertible into the drive way and yanked my diamond encrusted key out of its spot. "Come on." I hissed slamming the door to my precious car which set off the alarm, "Oh my God!" I pounded on the button until the vehicle silenced.

Everyone stared at me bewildered but I brushed past them and stuck my key in the door. Deep breaths. In, out, in, out.

I felt calm and gently twisted the key, pushing the door open. Music blared and the smell of chocolate reached my nostrils. Why Sonny, why? I dropped my keys on the table next to the couch and placed my purse on the floor by the keys.

"Sonny?" I whispered then cleared my throat, "Sonny."

No response. Not even a cough.

My friends and fellow supporters followed behind me cautiously as I wandered aimlessly. "Sonny, come out please." Still nothing. I made my way through the living room and out to the outdoor kitchen. I walked to the edge of the pool and turned around. Once I looked up I noticed Sonny staring out at the sunset.

I sighed and went back inside. My cast was mingling on the couch awaiting my announcement of Sonny. My heels clanked loudly through the hushed room.

_Got the news on Friday morning,_

_But a tear I couldn't find._

_You showed me how I'm supposed to live,_

_And now you showed me how to die._

Really Sonny, really? She has to listen to this country sob story?

_I was lost 'til Sunday morning,_

_I woke up to face my fear._

_While writing you this goodbye song,_

_I found a tear._

**(SPOV)**

I heard them enter and call, but I didn't care. Not now.

_I'm gonna miss that smile,_

_I'm gonna miss you, my friend._

_Even though it hurts the way it ended up,_

_I'd do it all again._

You know it Toby.

_So play it sweet in Heaven,_

_Cause that's right where you wanna be._

_I'm not crying cause I feel so sorry for you,_

_I'm crying for me._

I kept picturing his face, his smile, his laugh rung through my ears. I could hear that melodious voice whisper, cooing me to sleep.

_I got up and dialed your number,_

_And your voice came on the line._

_With that old familiar message,_

_I've heard a thousand times._

I wonder if calling the house would work.

_It just said, Sorry that I missed you,_

_Leave a message and God bless._

Tawni's heels stopped behind me on my balcony.

_I know you think I'm crazy,_

_But I had to hear your voice, I guess._

_I'm gonna miss that smile,_

_I'm gonna miss you, my friend._

_Even though it hurts the way it ended up,_

_I'd do it all again._

_So play it sweet in Heaven,_

_Cause that's right where you wanna be._

_I'm not crying cause I feel so sorry for you,_

_I'm crying for me._

The tears came, hot and new. I wasn't going to stop them ever. Not in this life time.

_So play your upside down, left handed,_

_Backwards bass guitar,_

_I'll see you on the other side, superstar._

_I'm gonna miss that smile,_

_I'm gonna miss you, my friend._

_Even though it hurts the way it ended up,_

_I'd do it all again._

_So play it sweet in Heaven,_

_Cause that's right where you wanna be._

_I'm not crying cause I feel so sorry for you,_

_I'm crying for me._

_I'm still crying._

_I'm crying for me, Oh._

_I'm still crying._

Just as the next song was about to come on, Tawni pulled the plug.

I took a sip of my hot cocoa and stared at the beautiful, honey-suckle sun and couldn't keep a smile on my face.

_Play it sweet in Heaven Superstar._

"Sonny?" Tawni kneeled next to me cautiously, "There's some people down stairs who want to see you." I glanced at my best friend and quickly turned away.

"I don't want to talk to anyone." My voice was raspy and hoarse. The sun danced marvelously on the horizon, just a quarter of it could still be seen.

"Please come down stairs." She pleaded. I shook my head and took another sip of my piping hot hot cocoa. I felt a small whipped cream mustache on my upper lip but I ignored the cool feeling. Tawni laughed and shook her head, "You are too much." I forced a small smile.

She quickly took my mug of chocolate, much to my displeasure, and grabbed my hand. I reluctantly followed her down stairs to the living room while cleaning of the 'mustache'. There stood my cast, all completely silent.

I forced a smile yet again and hugged myself. Self-conscious. I have to remember that.

"H-Hey Sonny girl. What's up?" Nico smiled dully. Nothing compared to my Chad.

I shrugged, "Life."

He nodded awkwardly and looked to Grady for counseling, who in turn, turned to Zora. None knew what to say and I felt relieved. In all honesty, I enjoyed the company but not the words to be shared. None of their words could be comforting. I glanced at the envelope by Tawni's keys and felt more tears coming. Tawni caught my glance. I refused to cry in front of my cast and quickly excused myself to cry in my bedroom.

When I was alone, I threw myself down on the bed and curled up into a ball. My knees pulled tightly to my body and my arms encasing my stomach. New life. No one would know, not now anyway.

Tears poured. My whole body was trembling under the grip of death. Not mine, but his. It hurt to know that I wouldn't see his cocky smile and arrogant walk. That face, that kiss. He was perfection in itself. He was gone in the blink of an eye.

I reached up and pulled the pillow from his side of the bed to me and placed my head on it. This was the most comfort I had since the news had arrived at my front door in the form of two official men.

**(CPOV)**

"Ziva!" I hissed, "Get up." she blinked sleepily and thrust her head back in the tall grass. "No, get up." I instructed, pulling my own body off of the cold dirt and toothed grass. She looked at me and rolled her eyes.

"I no wanna," with that her head disappeared once more.

"Come on." I insisted, "There's a town nearby. We can stay there for the night."

She groaned but stood up anyway, "Why Chad in rush? No see Sonny while here." She shrugged and looked up at me.

"Just come on." I picked the girl up once more and headed toward the tall building in the background. Trees blocked view of the actual town, but I still noticed the tallest building in the distance.

Ziva began to whistle sweet nothings and giggle frequently about how gross the bugs were in that escape tunnel. I smiled and made my way toward the trees. This was going to be a long night.

**Okay it's short, but I may have done some foreshadowing! I hope you noticed it. Tell me what you think.**


	4. Seminar trap

**Happy New Year! Guess what the first thing I ate was! A chocolate cherry! I know it's weird to tell you what I ate, but I want to remember, lol. Question: In the episode with Selena, why did Chad write that he and Sonny fall in love? I was watching the marathon ;)**

**Anyways, here's the chapter.**

**(CPOV)**

We reached that town I was looking forward to. Keyword: was. The whole place was abandoned and covered in vines and tall grass. It was almost like that movie… what was it called? I am legend? Anyway, we were trapped in a building.

Soon after we arrived in the town, Americans attacked. I was walking down the road with Ziva close by and a bullet whizzed passed my head. I grabbed the girl and ran towards the nearest building. A rusted door was left ajar and the first thing I saw was a staircase to the basement. Ziva wiggled out of my grasp and rushed towards the stairs, but something told me it wasn't safe. I ran after the girl trying to catch her and when I made it to her, another 'bang' rang out.

Ziva fell to the ground and I quickly covered her by instinct as the building trembled. Soon after the area was safe, I looked up to rocks and debris covering our exit. The thick air was suffocating and filled with dirt and dust. Not good.

"Chad, what we do?" she looked up at me coughing. I shrugged and watched the little girl lay down against a wall. She fiddled with a rock and flicked it over to my foot, "We play?" I shook my head.

**(SPOV)**

"Sonny, trust me, it'll be worth it." Tawni explained quietly. I finally gave in and got in her car to go to the studio. We rode in silence for most of the ride with occasional small talk thrown in. I let out a sigh of relief as she pulled into a parking space in front of the studio. I pushed the door open and got out slowly. As I looked up at the sky, it began to rain. It was as if God was crying with me.

"Why are we even here?" I whispered to my blonde companion next to me. She looked down at me and then back at the sky.

"It's inside." She whispered, "Come on." She grabbed my arm gently and pulled me into the studio. We passed by Stage 2 where _Millinomia _was currently filmed after being moved from Stage 8.I pursed my lips and kept going to the commissary.

As soon as the door opened a small smile spread across my face. Over thirty women and men were mingling. Posters of the Army Strong commercial hung on the walls. "What is this?"

"I gathered people who lost someone to the armed forces. It's one of those… seminar things." She was beaming now. I couldn't see how or why but I went along with it.

"That's…" I looked around at the crowd, "really nice Tawni. Thank you." I forced a small smile and sat down at one of the tables quietly. Tawni sat down next to me and smiled.

"I even got some special guests if it makes you feel better." The corner of her mouth turned up into a small smile. I nod curtly and looked down at the table.

"Welcome up Martina McBride!" an elderly woman announced from in front of the lunch counter. Everyone began golf clapping and nodding in approval.

_I pinch myself,_

_Sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream,_

_That's how it seems._

_I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest,_

_Moments I've ever known;_

_It feels like home._

_And here I am,_

_I want to be your everything._

_And there you are,_

_Turning winter into Spring._

_And everyone that sees you,_

_Always wants to know you._

_And everyone that knows you,_

_Always has a smile._

_You're a standing ovation,_

_After years of waiting,_

_For a chance to finally shine._

_Everyone calls you amazing, Yeah-_

_I just call you mine._

_I fall apart,_

_And just a word from you,_

_Somehow seems to fix,_

_Whatever's wrong. Oh-_

_You reach into the weakest moments and remind,_

_Me that I'm strong._

_You gotta know,_

_I'd be a fool not to see or even worse to forget,_

_That you're more then I deserve._

_Cause everyone that sees you,_

_Always wants to know you._

_And everyone that knows you,_

_Always has a smile._

_You're a standing ovation,_

_After years of waiting,_

_For a chance to finally shine._

_Everyone calls you amazing, Yeah-_

_I just call you mine._

_Nothing makes sense when you're not here,_

_As if my whole world disappears._

_Without you, what's the point?_

_Cause everyone that sees you,_

_Always wants to know you._

_And everyone that knows you,_

_Always has a smile._

_You're the dream that I've been chasing,_

_After years of waiting,_

_For a chance to finally shine._

_Everyone calls you amazing,_

_I just call you mine._

_Everyone calls you amazing,_

_I just call you mine._

"Thank you all and I'm so sorry for all of your losses," Martina gave a weak smile and quickly left the stage. Other artists played songs such as Cryin' for me, Soldier, Travelin' Soldier, and If you're reading this. One song really caught my attention.

_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen,_

_All dressed in white,_

_Goin' to the church that night._

_She had his box of letters in the passenger seat,_

_Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue._

_And when the church doors opened up wide,_

_She put her veil down, trying to hide the tears,_

_Oh she just couldn't believe it._

_She heard the trumpets from the military band,_

_And the flowers fell out of her hand._

_Baby why'd you leave me,_

_Why'd you have to go?_

_I was counting on forever,_

_Now I'll never know._

_I can't even breathe._

_It's like I'm looking from a distance,_

_Standing in the background._

_Everybody' saying, he's not coming home now._

_This can't be happening to me,_

_This is just a dream._

_The preacher man said, let us bow our heads and pray._

_Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt._

_Then the congregation all stood up and sang,_

_The saddest song she'd ever heard._

_Then they handed her a folded up flag,_

_And she held on to all she had left of him,_

_Oh, and what could've been._

_And the guns rang one last shot,_

_And it felt like a bullet in her heart,_

_Baby why'd you leave me,_

_Why'd you have to go?_

_I was counting on forever,_

_Now I'll never know._

_I can't even breathe._

_It's like I'm looking from a distance,_

_Standing in the background._

_Everybody' saying, he's not coming home now._

_This can't be happening to me,_

_This is just a dream._

_Baby why'd you leave me,_

_Why'd you have to go?_

_I was counting on forever,_

_Now I'll never know._

_Oh, now I'll never know._

_It's like I'm looking from a distance,_

_Standing in the background._

_Everybody' saying, he's not coming home now._

_This can't be happening to me,_

_This is just a dream._

_Oh this is just a dream,_

_Just a dream, Yeah, yeah._

"Sonny?" I turned away from the band to see Hayden in front of me, "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Well, what are you doing here?" I whispered in shock. He couldn't have been here for the same reason as me, right?

"My dad died awhile back." He shrugged like it was no big deal. He seemed to be enjoying the get together unlike me. "So, I repeat, what are you doing here?"

I shrugged and as I opened my mouth Tawni's voice filled the room, "Hey, everyone, so sorry for any losses. I wanna pull up the girl that brought this idea forth. We regret your loss Sonny." I looked up at my friend waving me up to her. I looked back at an expectant Hayden and waved goodbye.

Tawni pulled me into a hug as soon as I reached her. "Thanks for everything Tawn." I whispered into her shoulder. "I really do miss him."

"I know, I know, but he never did like when you were sad." She shook her head and pulled away from me, still holding my shoulders, "You know that no one knows what loss you had, right?"

"Do I have to?" she nodded to me and gently pushed me towards the microphone, "Uh, guys, I'm sad to say that the real reason behind this," I looked at Tawni and gave a small smile, "is Chad Dylan Cooper. He'll be missed by many, I guess, but not as much as me." I turned away from the whispers and back to Tawni.

"Sonny, what about the other thing?" she urged.

"I don't want that much sympathy Tawni. I'll just keep it a secret until it's becoming obvious." I muttered and walked back to the door.

She shrugged, "I think we should have a slide show! I've taken some pictures and video clips from those willing and one who may not know, but I've already set it up, so… yeah." She smiled just like a kid again and waved her hand at a stage hand.

I advanced toward the door until Tawni grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a table. I unwillingly sat next to her and rested my head on my elbows. "Tawni, I really don't-" she shushed me and turned to face the blank, white wall. The song Soldier by Anna Nalick began playing.

_He was a soldier, he always was._

_He left his city to fight for America._

A picture of an elderly woman and man stood in front of an old house. His arm was wrapped around her waist and they were holding hands. The picture changed to a young girl clinging to her father's leg and smiling widely. A small smile spread across my face. Another picture came on the screen. A young girl, around eighteen, was getting a piggy-back ride from her assumed boyfriend on the beach. He wore his army greens. The next picture brought tears to my eyes; Chad and I were out at the beach and I was throwing sand at him, playing in the water. Tawni was so dead.

Hayden looked over at me confused. I shook my head and glared at Tawni; she looked at me sheepishly. I turned my attention back to the screen to see a video of the reception party.

"_Chad! Wait for later!" I slapped his hand away from the cake and wiping the icing off of his finger._

"_Why? No one really eats wedding cakes; they're just for decoration." He shrugged as I turned back to my celebrating mom. Chad watched me cautiously before swiping another chunk of icing. "Hey, Sonny, I leave in a couple months, 'kay?"_

"_Leave? For what?" I looked at him with my nose scrunched up. He looked at me through his bangs and rolled his eyes._

"_Remember? The Army thing we talked about." He explained and pulled me close to him._

"_Oh," this time, I rolled my eyes, "so you're gonna leave me all alone in that king size bed?" I raised an eyebrow. His mouth dropped slightly._

"_Well, when you put it that way…" he pulled closer._

"_Hey guys," Tawni's hand appeared in front of camera, "You get that you're on video, right? I'm showing my nieces and nephews when they're older." I stared at the camera with my brows furrowed._

"_What nieces and nephews? Tawni, you don't have any siblings." I rolled my eyes and laughed._

"_Really Sonny? I thought _we_ were sisters?!" Tawni's high-pitched voice filled the room. I nodded and released Chad to hug Tawni._

"_Of course we are! I'm so sorry; not thinking straight!" the camera began rattling as I twisted Tawni in a hug._

I turned to glare at Tawni once more and she grinned sheepishly, "What? I told you I would show my niece or nephew! I just showed them before they could actually see."

"Tawni, I didn't tell you that you could use that video." I stood up from the table and stomped toward the door.

"Sonny! I'm sorry; I didn't think you'd mind!" whatever Tawni.

~:*:~

I sat on my couch and stared at the blank TV screen for what felt like hours. Nothing felt right anymore; life was all wrong. I squirmed in my position and pulled my legs up onto the chair. Silent tears pulled down my cheeks as I thought of this afternoon and all of the memories. Sonny and Chad. Chad and Sonny. It just went together.

I looked up when I heard a knock at my door; my voice came out hoarse, "It's open."

Zora pushed the front door open and glanced at me, "That's probably not the most secure way to answer a door." she sat next to me on the leather couch and kicked off her shoes.

"I don't care anyways," I shrugged. Zora sat watching me quietly before rolling her eyes. I looked up at her and wiped away a couple tears.

"Sonny, you know Tawni didn't me to offend and/or hurt you in anyway, right?" I nodded, "Well, why'd it bother you so much?" I looked away from her, "I saw in this movie, called 'my house', this technique for completeness," I looked at the strange girl in a daze, "Okay, my aunt lost my Uncle Lou and I learned something from it. Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my room.

~:*:~

"Sit." She pointed to the center of the circle. I shook my head and gripped the collar of my shirt. "Sonny, sit." I slowly stepped into the circle.

"Zora, are you sure this works… it's kinda weird." I looked over at her as I sat down in the circle of candles.

"Nope, you're my lab rat." She explained and sat down in front of me. I stared at her dumbfounded. "Okay, well, my aunt had some serious… issues, so I don't know if it works or if it's one of her strange cult traditions."

"Cult!?" I jumped up in my spot.

"No, not cult per say… look, let's just try it and see if it does work. If it doesn't, then you just get out of the circle, duh." She laughed. I sat back down and watched the flames on some of the candles. "Chad had a nice taste in shirts." She gestured to the button up I was wearing.

"Shut up." I glared, "I just like this shirt, okay?"

"We are so weird," she laughed. I rolled my eyes and stared at her, "you know, this seems kinda pointless. Just forget it; my aunt was a whack-job."

"Good, I don't feel comfortable acting like I'm in one of those cults where they whisper those prayer things and draw that devil sign."

"Sonny, this is just a relaxation technique. I saw it in a movie where the girl lost her husband," she nodded intelligently.

"When did you start watching deep movies?" I crossed my arms and stared at her. She looked down at a candle and shrugged with a small smile, "I always thought you were into comedy."

"Well, I was and I still am, but I met this guy…" she trailed off and blushed furiously.

"Go on Zora, you can tell me. I'm like your older sister, but the nice kind; not the one that beats you up and stuff." I encouraged.

"Okay, well, his name is Chris. I met him before you… got the news…" she trailed off again and looked up at me apologetically. I shook my head and smiled.

"Zora, I'm fine, really. Don't put your life on pause for me." I waved her off.

"Well, thanks for the blessing, but I wasn't going to put _my_ life on pause. No offense, but I'm not Tawni. I'll help but that's it." She smiled jokingly.

"Sonny!" I turned around at the sound of a high-pitched voice and got up to open the front door. Tawni held out a box of chocolates apologetically, "I didn't think you'd get that mad, I swear! And I was… what are you wearing?"

I looked down at my daisy dukes and loose button-up. "What?"

"You just look… skimpy… kinda. I don't know, it's just not your style." I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. "Right, sorry. So, why don't we have a girls night out?" I looked at her skeptically.

"Yeah! I am so-" Zora looked at me and toned down her excitement, "I mean, yeah, sounds okay." I shook my head.

"I don't know. How about we stay in?" I offered quietly. Both of my friends shook their heads with their noses scrunched up. "Okay, fine." I grabbed my car keys and pulled the door open.

"Sonny, aren't you going to change?" Tawni pointed in the direction of my bed room. I shook my head and walked out to the camaro without a sound. "So, a club? Coffee shop? Movies? Shopping?"

"How about all of the above?" Zora beamed with excitement.

"Zora, are you old enough to go to a club?" Tawni stopped next to the passenger side door and looked at her cockily.

"Yes- no, but I can go to another movie when you two go to some club." She offered dully. They got into the car and sat in silence as I drove to the theatre.

**(CPOV)**

I kicked the rock at her once more and she squealed before releasing a cough. "Chad, it hard to breathe. I want out." I looked down at her and then up at the ceiling. What was I supposed to do about it?

"Ziva, just relax." I walked up to the wall and pushed on it. "Come and help me find a weak point." I looked back at her staring at me. I rolled my eyes and motioned for her to come to me.

"What we do?" she leaned against the wall. Another shot rang out from above the room and Ziva turned to me. "Why push out? We underground." I mouthed an 'oh' and looked up at the ceiling. Before I could respond she picked up the rock and tossed it into the air.

"That won't work," I huffed and stole a glance around the room. A desk, chairs, lamps, television sets, and an old office phone. It was worth a shot. I rushed over to the desk and grabbed the phone. A dull buzz filled my ear. Good.

I dialed the first number that came to mind.

**Okay, so now I'm tired because it's late. It may have gotten worse, been pointless, or you liked it; tell me in your review! Thanks!**


	5. I got the call

**So sorry for not updating in **_**forever**_** but I have so many stories going on right now! Here's the next chapter! Everyone, this story will most likely end sad, but I might have a SEQUEL. I just thought up something that I HAVE to write down, so ignore this next comment if you want:**

**When I say hate, I just mean a strong dislike with a hint of passion.**

**I don't know where that came from or anything, but you can use that or whatever. I don't really care. I just thought it was kind of poetic. Sorry :) I don't own anything either!**

**(CPOV)**

The dull ringing grew quieter and quieter until it was a soft jingle in my ear. I glanced back at Ziva as she tossed the same rock up, smacking the roof repeatedly, "Hello?" My heart stopped. She had answered. "Helllloo?"

"S- Sonny?" There was a sharp intake of air on the other end and I could swear I heard tears actually pulling down her cheeks. Before I could go on, the line went dead in an instant. I twirled to face Ziva, who was lying on the ground. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes.

"I fall," she whined and twisted to grasp her knee. I glanced back at the phone and decided on helping the young girl. Dropping the phone, I strode over to her and bent down to inspect her knee. It was slightly scuffed up and covered with dirt; I noticed the cord next to her. My gaze followed the black line to the wall.

I pulled her to her feet and brushed her knee off gently, telling her to not move until I had finished with the phone. She nodded absentmindedly, pulling at the hem of her dress to examine her knee.

**(SPOV)**

I stood frozen in the parking lot to the theatre. My heart and mind had drawn to a complete blank. I could almost swear… but he was dead, right? I imagined him; my mind was playing tricks of torture on the innocent and fresher heart. I had just opened my heart to him when he passed and my mind was the playground bully. Yeah, that's it.

"Sonny," Tawni stopped laughing, humor evident in her voice, "You look paler than before? What's the matter? See a ghost?" I could only force my head to give her a small nod and she jumped behind me, "You're kidding right? You know I'm superstitious!" her voice came out in a joking whisper.

Zora stepped closer to me and examined my blank expression, "Tawni, I think she's serious-"

Tawni gave Zora a dry chuckle, "Very funny. Everyone knows there's no such thing as ghosts." Tawni flipped her hair and smirked triumphantly. A cool summer breeze swept through the air and whistled quietly, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear. I swear I could almost feel Chad. "Seriously, Sonny, what's wrong?"

Zora glared at her, "Tawni, I was being serious, too. She saw something… or heard." The younger girl glanced at me suspiciously, "Can I see your phone?" I simply answered by allowing the small device to slip from my hand and drive into the ash vault road. She raced to grab it and typed furiously, searching for something.

Tawni peeked around her shoulder to find the answer to my stiffness, but how could I care? Chad… called me? "Oh my God!" she snatched my phone from Zora, "I didn't know you got free long-distance calls!"

I snapped out of my trance and narrowed my eyes at her in disbelief. "I don't, Tawn."

"Well, why would you be calling someone from halfway across the world?" she answered smartly, rolling her eyes and placing her hand on her hip, lifting my phone beside her.

"Let me see!" Zora whined and reached for the phone, quickly hitting redial. I heard the faint ring echoing through the silent and still air of the theatre.

"Sonny? Thank God!" they took in a sharp breath. "Hello?" I snatched the phone and ended the call. I couldn't take this. Chad was dead. Dead, dead, dead! I had finally accepted it, kinda, and now someone's playing tricks on me?! I _couldn't_ do this anymore.

"Sonny, do you know something we don't?" Zora asked, cautiously taking a step towards me.

I decided to grin and bear it, "Nope. Let's go before we miss the movie." I held my head high, proudly, as I stepped through the front doors, pushing through the mingling teens and up to the line of purchasers. I crossed my arms for a protective cover from what I was feeling, even if all the hurt was on the inside. Dull lights hung evenly spaced on the deep, navy blue walls to match the checkered blue carpeting and red couches with white lining against the wall. The line slowly shrunk until I stood in front of the bright red counter top; I examined the glass case filled with popcorn.

**(CPOV)**

I didn't have time to think about calling her back, the room quickly becoming stuffy; I pulled the receiver to my ear and dialed a number that wasn't as familiar. "Yellow." I rolled my eyes and smiled. Finally a little humor.

"Smitty?" I already knew his reaction, but it was worth a shot.

"Coop? What the Hell?" His voice dropped to a menacing low, "Man, I breathed in too much dust."

I turned to Ziva playing with the same rock as before and watched the dirt clot hit the weak ceiling and come back down, the same process being replayed like déjà vu. "Smitty"

"Maybe it's radiation poisoning."

"Smitty." I repeated, relief washing over me, my eyes glancing up at the roof ad back to the ground. _At least I got the number right. _He kept rambling about some poisoning or a mental illness, "Smitty." I repeated sharply.

"Look," his voice became rough again, "I'll have you arrested for impersonating a fellow soldier. Coop's gone already." I pulled the phone away and stared at it in confusion.

"What're you talking about?" I continued to watch the young girl tossing the stone harder and faster, dust trickling from the roof.

"Dead; you know, bit the dust. Sent his body-" his voice cut off suddenly as a new one filled the line.

"That's confidential." Boss cut in and clicked the phone off, ending the call. I slowly lowered the phone from my ear and dropped it on the desk.

Dead? They thought I was dead? Does Sonny know? "Dead?" I voiced, amusement danced through my atmosphere. Ziva glanced at me and returned to tossing the rock. "Dead?" I shook my head, straightening up, bewildered.

"Who?" I turned to see the little girl directly next to me, leaning right next to my face. I jolted and put a hand to my heart.

"God, don't do that." I huffed and smiled at her swiftness; _she could come in handy._ "Me."

"You dead?" she narrowed her eyes, "Like road cut?" I squinted at her in confusion.

"Kill; road kill." She shrugged and hopped on the desk carefully, kicking her feet rhythmically. "Yeah, my friends think I'm dead." I laughed at the thought. Chad Dylan Cooper? Dead at this age? Very funny.

"Why? You are here, yes?" I nodded, "So, why would they think it?" She tilted her head innocently and blinked, wide brown eyes shimmering. I smiled down at her and shrugged, "So, you are not dead. Why do you not tell them?"

I scanned the room, giving her the obvious answer, "Gee, I don't know." my old attitude was seeping through the more I thought of my friends, Hollywood, and, unfortunately, Sonny.

"Well, you best to figure it out." She pushed herself off of the desk and strode over to a new rock, bending over to grasp it in her small hand. My shoulders slumped in the way they always did when Sonny had rejected my kiss if she was mad or busy. She was almost always too busy with her part-time job, but it seemed she would always wiggle some room in for me, hence my amazing posture.

This girl was quick with remarks, but she couldn't sense sarcasm, never really been exposed to it and all, so my wits seemed pointless at a time like this. I paced in front of the desk, watching her giggle as the rock bounced off the roof. I tried to come up with some escape route, some way out, but the constant pounding from the stone drove at my core. I ignored it to the best of my abilities.

I could… _Bam._ Maybe we can- _Bam. _What if I-_ Bam._ "_Ziva_," my voice was much sharper than I intended, "Ziva, please." She gave me a blank stare and tightened her hold on the sharp stone.

I noticed more dust roughly dropping, clinging to her head and changing her dark brown hair to a dull gray. That's it. "Ziva, may I see that?" I prodded.

She slowly nodded and tossed the rock before me. I bent down, grabbing the rock, and straightened up to stare at the ceiling. I figured the weakest point would be where she had constantly hammered lightly. Pacing forward, I shooed her to the side in case of the roof caving in, and glanced up. I looked down at the rock, juggling it in my hand before pulling my hand down and flinging it at the ceiling with only half of my strength. Chunks of rock and dust broke loose and landed around me; I looked down to keep my eyes clear. The rock landed roughly in front of me, skipping once or twice. I smiled to myself.

I snatched the rock up and stared at the roof. This time, I stood beside the pile of debris and threw the rock, overhand. Larger chunks plummeted to the smooth ground, dust swirled through the air. Ziva coughed and waved her small hand before her face making more of an air bubble. I grinned.

"We are free?" she gave me a quizzical glance, pursing her lips. I nodded and gave the rock one more chuck at the roof before it all came crashing down. I pulled Ziva under me and shielded her head, a protective hand placed on her back. She screeched and squirmed in my grasp.

I looked up, still covering the cowering girl, and inspected the safety of the room. I flinched as few more chunks fell and everything was abruptly still.

**(SPOV)**

_Nick paced down the aisle to his spot as the best man when his phone burst to life with his newest ring tone. Beth couldn't help but roll her eyes as he nervously smiled and played with the device, dropped it, tripped, and eventually stopped the obnoxious noise. The priest swayed, lip-synching with the song, and quietly regained his composure of holiness, the Holy Bible intertwined in his arms._

_In his appropriate spot, Nick gave Beth a double-over, obviously mulling over her beauty with curiosity and… hormones was the best word, I suppose. She was quite a sight for this young bachelor._

I glared at the screen, but something inside of me knew that Chad had really called me; he was alive. I could just feel it. Or maybe that was the light kicking… probably the small kicks.

I glanced at Tawni and Zora who seemed content on diving into the wonderful movie of _When in Rome_ without a care in the world. But how? And why? Why couldn't I be so content? Why did I feel like watching _Monkey Cars 3-D_ again?

I ignored my urge to groan in utter annoyance and watched the two slowly- actually quite quickly, fall in love. Unrequited, irrefutable, indisputable, totally beautiful love. They were happy. _But you don't get happy endings in real life. This is real life. Not a fantasy._

"_No" Nick refused his friends offer once more._

"_How 'bout yes?" He urged, bobbing his head._

Chad called me. Chad Dylan Cooper called me. My husband, Cooper, called me.

**Sorry, its short guys, but it will get better. This will most likely be a short amount of chapters type of story. Review even if you don't like it. I just love getting reviews. **

**Until the whole world,**

_**High Fiving Jesus**_


	6. silent obsession

_~SV~_

My eyes fluttered open slowly revealing an anxious Tawni Hart and a hushed Zora. "Ssonnyy?" Tawni sing-songed, tapping my cheek repeatedly. "Come on, Sonny. Time to wake up." Tawni whipped her head around, "I think she's alright." I slowly sat up, avoiding Tawni's head.

"What are you doing?" I looked around the empty room with soft yellow and lime green walls. I looked down at the fuzzy black carpet and smiled, stroking it calmly.

"Sonny, don't ever do that again." Tawni scolded and backed away from me at ease. It was times like these that I wished Tawni could make sense.

"Do what?" my voice was dazed as I followed the white trim around the room. A single butterscotch teddy bear sat in the corner holding onto a beanie-rattle and had on small booties. "Why am I in here?"

"Well, wouldn't I like to know." she put her hands on her hips curiously, "In the middle of the movie you headed down the hall. I just thought you had to go to the bathroom but you didn't come back." She proceeded to explain how they found me passed out on the floor of the nursery, unsure if I had dozed off or fainted.

"Oh…" I paused to think, "oh yeah." I scratched my head and yawned, "I just came in here to think."

"'bout what?" Zora piped in, leaning against the window frame.

"About-" I stalled at the sight of the paint cans, "I was just thinking about…" they stared at me curiously, "is it possible that they got mixed up?"

"Who got mixed up, Sonny?" Tawni pressed, "You aren't making sense."

"I know, I know. Just try to follow me here." I watched Zora come over to us and sit beside Tawni's feet. "Say that he wasn't dead."

"Sonny, do not start-"

"And someone else was. He's alive and…"

"And what?" Zora shut her eyes, trying to capture the scenario in her mind. Tawni seemed to be on her own team. Zora was listening to me.

"And they confused that guy for him. Like, the person looked just like him." I nodded, thinking I had it all figured out.

"No." Tawn shook her head, "Nope. Not possible, Sonny. These guys are professionals. They use fingerprints for identification."

"Well, what if they didn't? What if someone working with him had seen the guy and identified him as… as Chad? What then? Would they still run the tests to identify him or not?" I urged. I had to know.

"I- I don't know, Sonny. I don't work for the Navy or the Army or whatever he was in-"

"Military. He was just in the Military, Tawn." I said pointedly. She nodded and waved it off.

"I don't have any clue what they do, but I do know that he's gone. You can't continue to torture yourself like this. It's one thing to mourn and it's another to obsess."

"I'm not obsessing. I'm wondering. I got a-" I stopped to think if I should or had already told them of Chad's sudden message, "a call from him. I swear it was him. I was so scared, I hung up. But you say it wasn't him, right?"

Tawni stared at me, mouth agape. Zora continued picturing my story; eyes shut and mind on full blast. She smiled at some secret joke of what I said and continued to bob her head in agreement with me. You could easily tell she was worn out. "You lie."

"No, I'm serious. Watch, I'll try and call him back." I pulled out my phone and scanned through my calls list. As soon as the number came on the screen Tawni snatched my phone from my grasp and shut it off.

"Sonny, you are _obsessing_ over your dead husband." She reprimanded and crouched down in front of me.

"No, I'm not, Tawn. Then again, you've never lost anything like this in your life. You know, a father or a husband. So, I wouldn't expect you to understand." I growled. That was harsh. A really low blow. It wasn't her fault that everything worked out for her. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

Tawni remained silent for a few minutes. She straightened up and slowly stepped out the door and I could tell I had hurt her feelings. I struggled to stand, about to go after her. I paused at the door and turned back to Zora, "you'll be alright, right?" she giggled and kept reading her eyelids pictures, "Yeah. You'll be fine."

I hurried after my best friend, running out to the living room. I glanced out the window noticing her strutting down the lawn to her car. "Aw, come on Tawn." I mumbled to myself and wandered out the door right behind her. "Tawni."

She kept looking forward.

"Tawn, I said I was sorry."

She whipped around, "Yeah, you would be sorry, because you've been through _sooo_ much that you know how it feels to be hurt by a friend, right? You know, this is _all_ new to me. That whole friend thing: I'm so not used to being let down."

"That's not what I meant, Tawni, and you know it."

"No, I don't. What did you mean, Sonny?" she snapped. Sarcasm dripped from her voice. Her arms crossed suddenly.

"I just meant that no one this close to you has ever just disappeared in the blink of an eye. I mean, let's face fact; your life is practically perfect right now. It's always been just how you want it except for little things like auditions."

"Yeah," she nodded harshly, "Yup; you pegged me, Sonny. Just nailed it on the first try." She came up to me, "I get everything I want. I've never had the problem of being a little girl staring out her window watching some strange man come by and declare that he's her father. The years just roll on by and as soon as she's used to him, he disappears with some red-head, pig-rolling hick. That's totally not my life. Your father's not the only one that's gone."

"I'm sorry, Tawn." I repeated wearily. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," she flipped her hair, back to being Tawni again, "Tawni Hart doesn't do sympathy. Sympathy is a two-way street, Sonny."

"Well, you sympathized me." I whispered humorously.

"That's different," she covered, "You and Chad are perfect together. You two are like that annoying spider hiding in my bathroom that annoys me so much, but I know that if it wasn't there then I might get a bug problem." We laughed for a few minutes.

"I really am sorry. I don't know what came over me." I looked down at my feet pathetically.

"I do," she nodded at my lower abdomen. I began to picture a spider crawling around her bathroom and laughed.

"So, am I the spider body or legs?"

_~CV~_

"Just climb up," I managed out in a strained voice. Ziva held out one arm, keeping the other with a tight grip on my uniform shirt. She stretched but was still out of reach. "You have to stand up straight, Ziva." She looked down at me confused. I racked my brain for the right words. "Ngrihem drejt, Ziva."

She nodded and reluctantly released her grasp. I grabbed her ankles to keep her steady as she reached up. Her fingers scratched against a slither of concrete. "Ahh!"

I tried to keep her calm. She shifted her weight continuously pressing on my shoulder blades as she tried to hoist herself out to the debris above. "Ziva, I'm going to jump and you have to grab the ledge, okay?" She looked down at me worriedly and began to cry.

"No, no, no. Do not let me fall, please!" She begged and shut her eyes. Her butterscotch skin was stained with tears in a few minutes.

"Ziva, you won't fall. I'll catch you. You have to grab the ledge. On three. One-" she whined, "two…"

"No!"

"Three," I pushed her ankles up and sent her a little higher up. I took one step back and looked up at her. She dangled off the ledge and stared down at the ground crying. "Ziva," she looked back at me, "Ziva, you have to pull yourself up." I imaginarily pulled myself up with my arms and she nodded.

She whimpered and mustered up all her strength, pulling herself closer to freedom. She swung one leg up on the ledge and threw her right arm out further, grabbing a chunk of ceiling. I watched roll up and disappear from my view.

"Ziva? You okay?" there was no response. "Great. I lost her." I came closer to the ledge and cupped my mouth, "Ziva." My voice echoed as her head poked out proudly.

"I did it." She smiled, "You turn."

"Okay, Ziva, look around for a- a metal bar kind of thing," I brought my hands together to form the shape of a pole, "Just a long metal bar." She nodded and disappeared again. I looked around the room for a chair or a stool for a backup plan. There was nothing strong enough to hold me up.

"Chad," I looked up but she was nowhere in sight, "Chad, I can't move it." Her voice echoed loudly, which was a problem. The structure was weak and there were Americans outside.

"Ziva, shh." I waved her off, "just… just pull it out." The room went completely silent.

**It's really short, but I'm thinking about what I want to happen in this story. I know how to end it, but the middle is a big blur to me.**


	7. Fishy interrogation

Chad looked up at his commanding officer and almost sighed in relief. He was about to praise God for saving them but one pulled out an AK-47 and shot down by his feet. He jumped back. The soldier with the gun looked over at the other soldiers sheepishly. "Rookies. You'll have to forgive us; he still hasn't learned to hold fire on an enemy."

Chad realized that they didn't recognize him with all the dirt and grime shielding his face. "Sir, it's me. Chad Cooper."

The commanding officer narrowed his eyes and pulled the gun from the rookie's hands, aiming down at Chad. "I ain't one for rash actions. But you ever claim to be a soldier, an' I'll blow you down to Hell an' back."

Chad was completely dumbfounded, "Sir, I'm not lying, sir."

"Hoist 'im up. Don't let him outta your sight 'til I get a chance to properly interrogate 'im." The man shoved the gun back into his soldier's arms and stormed off. Chad scanned the men and noticed one of them holding Ziva's arm gently, making sure she didn't run off.

A rope was tossed down into the pit and Chad had no choice but to get up to the fresh air and Ziva. He grabbed the rope and began to climb.

"Got any twos?" Sonny looked up at Tawni and Zora curiously.

"Go fish." Tawni smiled victoriously as Sonny grabbed a card from the deck and placed it in her hand. "Zora, do you have… any…" she looked over her card, "Aces?"

Zora smiled smugly and tossed her a card from the deck, "Go fish. Alright…" she stared at her hand for a few seconds, "Sonny, got any eights?" Sonny sighed and pulled a red eight from her hand and tossed it in front of Zora unwillingly. Zora smiled and snatched the card up into her hands. She laid down the two red eights. "I go again."

Tawni and Sonny groaned. Zora had six matches already, beating both Sonny and Tawni by six. "_Come on_."

"Okay, Tawni… any nines?" Tawni looked at her hand and sighed, pulling the black nine of spades out.

"There is no way you're beating us this bad. You have to be cheating." Sonny claimed, desperate to get one match.

"Nope." Zora looked over her cards again, "It's sheer luck." She smiled, "So, Sonny… Any fives?"

**Filler chapter but something important happened with Chad. This is going to be a short amount of chapters for the story.**

**Review please!**


	8. Pack up all your fears

**Here's another update. **

Sonny stared up at the ceiling, gripping the blanket with her cold, slender fingers. She devoted her whole being in thought at twelve o'clock AM and she knew it wouldn't help her at all tomorrow. It was just one of those things she had to do.

Tawni squirmed next to her and mumbled a cute make-up rhyme she had invented all on her own. Zora kicked Sonny's thigh and sighed in a deep sleep. She waved a hand in front of her face to ward off an evil mosquito that wouldn't relent. An evil _imaginary_ mosquito, that is.

The trio had pushed Sonny's couch up against the wall, pulled out her comforter, grabbed pillows, and sprawled out to watch a movie on the carpeted floor. Half-way through, Sonny had to give in to her needs and ran to the bathroom. Tawni and Zora tried not to notice and focused on the movie. Eventually, the pair had fallen asleep and left Sonny to her thoughts.

_He's not dead. He is not dead. He promised and Chad Dylan Cooper is a man for his word… recently._ Sonny sighed and turned on her side, pulling the blanket under her arm. Her hair sprawled out on the pillow behind her and gave off a lemony aura. She shut her eyes and wished herself to sleep. It wouldn't work.

She felt a sudden twinge of want and need and hot tears streamed down her face. She felt like a strong arm was wrapped around her and she dreaded the fact that it was her imagination. Sonny shut her eyes as she cried and whimpered quietly, forcing herself to be strong. _He is not dead. Sonny Cooper, you pull yourself together this instant._

There was a sharp knock on the door and Sonny winced, trying to force herself into a short hibernation. She shut her eyes again and counted to ten. When she reached three there was another sharp knock, louder than before. Sonny sighed, wiped away her tears and pushed herself off the ground.

When she opened the door she nearly screamed.

_~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~_

"Soldier, what is going on?" Chad's commanding officer snapped, throwing down files and reports of enemy territories suddenly going up in flames. They were abandoning their homes to escape the Americans.

"I don't know, Sir." Chad watched him pace the small, make-shift room as his face turned beet red in frustration.

"Well, how can you expect me to convince the men that _you_ are still alive?" He stopped pacing and turned to Chad, a look came across his face. Chad wasn't sure what to feel: fear or anger. Was his commanding officer going to kill him or something? Probably not. "I've got it."

"Got what, Sir?" Chad said, half-expecting him to call order of evacuation and take the squadron to some place in Milan.

"Pack your bags, boy; you're going home."

**Bum-bum-buummmm! Lol, I'm just kidding. About the weird humming, not the story. Anyways, before I wrap my wrist up (I fell on it wrong at dance class) tell me what you think! Sorry it's short, but I think you can understand why it had to stop right there. This story will not be oober long, but there might be a sequel.**


	9. It's what I know

Chad pretended like he didn't notice the stares at the back of his head. He hoped that no one would say anything to him. His friends had all huddled on one of their bunks and were watching as he folded another white tee and dropped it on the ever-growing pile in his suitcase. He thought of wearing normal clothes on his way home, but wearing the camo pants and white tees had become natural.

He pushed the dog tags out of his view as he pulled the lid down, concealing the personal belongings. When Chad thought of leaving he felt his heart sink. He would be leaving his friends and all the things he had learned to love. But he would see Sonny.

Chad wondered if she had grown since the last time he saw her, or if she was even showing at all. It didn't even matter to him. He would be home in a matter of hours and nothing could stop him.

Chad listened to a distant sound of explosions, screaming, and then- for a brief second- silence. He thought of how many people were dying for their _own_ country, not just America. They were fighting for their rights and what they believed, but America was fighting for vengeance. Vengeance for the innocent people who lost their lives way back on September 11.

He had proudly defended what he believed in, but every time he held up his gun, whether it be a sniper or a plain rifle, he felt pain. There was always fear in the other's eyes; underneath the hate and crazy blood desire, there was a pain that reflected in his own eyes.

"You, Soldier," the captain called. Chad instinctively turned around and gave a quick salute. "Your ride's here." Chad nodded and grabbed his bag. His friends watched him leave silently, and Chad knew they recognized him. How could they not?

Chad slipped into a land rover and dropped his bag down by his feet. He watched his quarters disappear behind him.

_~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~~:*:~_

Sonny pulled her mother into a bear hug and swayed with her, laughing like there wasn't a care in the world. Tawni stirred in her sleep and rolled onto her stomach. Zora grumbled and pulled her sheets over her head.

"Mom, what're you doing here?" she whispered excitedly. Connie Munroe gave her daughter a weak smile and held out some chocolate chip cookies.

"I knew I should've called first," Connie scolded herself, "But the plane was taking off and my…" she studied her daughter, "Well, enough about that. How are you, sweetie? I've heard some very exciting news!" she smiled and put her hands on Sonny's shoulders to study her more closely.

"Yeah, mom," Sonny laughed. She shifted the plate of cookies in her hands to rest on her hip and led her mother passed the sleeping pair.

"Well? Where is he?" Sonny tried to hide her from, almost nervously, "Where's that jerk-knob or whatever you call him?"

"Throb, mom, jerk-_throb_," Sonny put the platter on her kitchen counter and fiddled with her pajama sleeves, "He's not here."

"Well, isn't that something?" Connie mused, nudging Sonny's arm. Sonny gave her a fake smile and distracted herself with the wrapping around the cookies. She peeled the tin foil off in small sections, trying to waste time. "Is something wrong?"

"No" Sonny glanced at her mother and smiled weakly, trying her best to hide her pain, "No, of course not." She found sudden interest in her baby blue bunny slippers and pursed her lips. Sonny wondered how much Connie was really suspicious. If she made it seem like no big deal, her mother would move on. If not…

"Allison Munroe, what's wrong?" her mother demanded, propping a hand on her hip. Sonny ignored her and took a small bite out of a gooey cookie. "Sonny," she said, clearly not in the mood for child's play, "You tell me, or I'll have to force it out of you."

"He went away," Sonny said, biting her lower lip and stealing peripheral glances at her mom, "And he won't be back by the time she's born." She muttered.

"That's it? Honey, that's expected from a world-class actor," Connie laughed and nudged her daughter again, "Unless there's more." Connie had already known what was going on. But having her daughter confront the problem and be honest was the best way to start a grieving process properly.

"Nope," Sonny shook her head and nibbled on the cookie.

Connie eyed her and sighed, "Sonny, I already know."

Sonny's eyes widened and she whipped her head towards her mother, "You do?" she said quietly. She felt guilty about not being straight forward with her mother, or herself. "I didn't want to tell you- yet." Sonny said hoarsely.

"Well, it's good to be kept in the loop," Her mother said sarcastically, turning towards the counter and busying herself with the cookies as her daughter had done before.

"Sorry," Sonny mumbled and stuffed the rest of the cookie in her mouth.

**I know it's short, but I don't want the chapters to be extravagantly long. I get bored when I read super long chapters. Anyways, pardon my shortage of words.**


	10. Stop feeling it all

Chad stood in front of his plane and smiled. It was small, quaint, but it was his ticket home. Sonny would be so relieved, so proud, so… Sonny. A stiff man stood at the top of the stairs waiting for him to come. He was in a military uniform with a straight face, pins flashing and gleaming in the sun.

Chad walked up the steps and stalled in front of the man. They stared at each other unsurely before the stranger saluted him. Chad returned the greeting and passed the man into the plane. He tossed his bag in a seat on the plane and sat down next to the window.

The man in the uniform slouched in the seat opposite of him and took his hat off. "You have someone home waiting?" he asked, turning to Chad after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Chad whispered, not really averting his attention to anywhere but the runway.

O. o. O

Connie grabbed her daughter's wrist and gently tugged her towards the dining room table with the cookies in the other hand. The way Sonny was shaking was a sure sign that tears would be falling gently like raindrops. Sonny stroked her arm comfortingly and followed her mother. They sat down in silence and stared at each other.

"So, sweetheart," Connie started.

"So, mom."

Connie sighed and stared at the ceiling. She had never had to actually give Sonny advice on something like this, and now that she did, she was speechless. Sonny had always had the better life that anyone could hope for.

Sonny stared at her mother, waiting for the advice she knew would never come. It was like waiting for the rain in a drought or attaching cardboard wings to a pig and expecting it to fly. And the longer she waited, the more the numbness spread through her body.

She stopped feeling pain. She stopped feeling hope. She stopped feeling the warmth of her pajamas. She stopped feeling.

O. o. O

Chad stared at the clouds and thought of lying in a real bed. Sleeping with real, feather pillows. Staying asleep the whole night. Dreaming.

Thoughts of Sonny flashed through his mind every now-and-again but it was never a solitary thought. He figured that he had adjusted and rewired his brain to only think in bursts. It kept him moving out on the field. If he focused on one detail nothing would've gone right.

Hours passed on the plane but he didn't notice. The uniformed man, Shawn, was snoring with his arms crossed and his hat in his lap. Chad scoffed and turned back to the window, waiting for the ride to just be over. Down below cars flew down highways and Chad knew he was finally back in America.

The plane shook slightly and Shawn's hat slipped to the ground. Chad was about to get up and snag the hat when the pilot's voice grumbled through the car. "_Buckle your seatbelts. We're coming to the end of this flight."_

Chad called Shawn's name and all he did was snore louder. He rolled his eyes and dug through his bag. A small button flipped out and bounced off his shoe. He smirked and grabbed it, aiming at Shawn. He flicked the piece of plastic and it pegged Shawn in his cheek.

He stirred and glanced over at Chad, unbelievably, "Did you just hit me—with—a—button?"

"We're landing." Chad clicked his seat belt on and turned back to his favored window. Shawn's buckle clicked in his ear. The plane came down and the feeling you get when you ride a roller coaster grew inside Chad. He hated this part of plane rides.

O. o. O

Sonny drummed her fingers as her mother drawled on about what to do when her water breaks and who she should call but she couldn't hear her. Her thoughts were on the way Chad used to talk about taking more serious roles and moving on from the tween-show he was the star of. He would never get to fulfill that goal.

"Sonny?" Connie's voice whispered, "Sonny, are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Sonny looked at her mother, "Yeah, mom. I'm- I'm all ears." She nodded and bit her lip, trying to stop herself from yawning.

Connie narrowed her eyes, "Sonny Munroe Cooper, you tell me exactly what I said."

Sonny closed her eyes and looked pained at trying to focus, "Um, I need to call Tawni when my water—"

"No, no, no." Her mother shut her eyes and shook her head, "Do _not_ call Tawni. She wouldn't know what to do. Call _Aunt Cece_ and tell her that you need a ride. If not, call Rio and get him to drive you."

Sonny nodded and started drifting off into her own world again. Connie tried to tell her about classes and making sure she knows what she needs to do when the time comes but Sonny wasn't listening. She barely noticed when the door bell rang and the knob jiggled.

**Sorry, another short one. But the next chapter is either last and then an epilogue, or second to last and **_**then**_** an epilogue. I'm not sure yet. I'll see how it flows. Review?**


	11. Where We Meet

**I'm truly sorry for not updating, but I have a confession. I've become obsessed with Percy Jackson. Sorry, but it's true. I forgot SWAC and I feel terrible. **

**Anyways, here we go.**

Sonny blinked, coming back to the reality of her mother going for the front door cautiously. She didn't pick painful things up like in movies, and she didn't just throw the door open either. Stupidity had been one thing that stopped spreading after her great grandfather, whom trapped himself in a dried-up wishing well and was stumped on what to do. Standing up, of course, was a reasonable option.

Connie jammed her eye up against the peep-hole and nearly stopped breathing. She made short rasping noises in her throat like she had seen a ghost and fumbled with the door handle, which refused to open. Sonny, realizing her mother's inability to function properly, walked to the door lazily and flipped the lock. She reached for the handle just as the door pulled open.

A rugged, tired looking man stood in his military uniform, a crooked grin on his face. His blue eyes twinkled with excitement, which the boys back in the corps wouldn't understand or recognize from him. He dropped his bag off of his shoulder and wrapped her in his arms before she could process what she was witnessing.

He lifted her off the ground as gently as he could and refused to let her go ever again. Her face was contorted with confusion, joy, and an odd twist of pain deep in her gut. This was her Chad; she knew he was still alive, yet some logical part of her had doubted. Maybe, at the time, it had seemed like the only sane side, but had it really been so?

He held her closer and dropped his head on her shoulder, just wanting to remember the feeling of being in her arms. It was comfort, if to be described fleetingly. It was warmth, good cheer, and that peace that overwhelms a person in the arms of love.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," She managed pulling away to look in his eyes.

"I won't," he promised, pulling her back in. His eyes shut themselves as he breathed in the familiar scents that lingered in the house. "I won't." He peeked at the rearranged furniture oddly and contemplated what to say, only deciding not to in the end. His hands limped as he backed away to look at her again. "God, I missed you."

She was too stunned to speak, just wrapping her arms around her neck. Her mouth was open ever so slightly, about to whimper or something along the lines, but silent tears ever-gently rolled down her cheeks. Not continuous streams or heart-broken sobs, but tears of joy and of shock. Her throat was jammed with a tight scream that bobbled around, providing only enough room for rasps of air.

Over on the sleeping bags, a blonde with a very confused look on her face and the hair of a very friendly hamster's nest glanced around the room. She scratched her head and yawned. Tawni's eyes snapped down to Zora as she kicked her thigh. Tawni poked Zora's head roughly, and the younger girl propped herself on her elbows, her features an exact replica of Tawni's.

"What?" Zora yawned, glancing at Tawni.

"You kicked me," the blonde accused, poking her again in the arm.

"You snore," Zora reasoned, shrugging. She dropped her head back on the pillow and hugged it, imagining her old gnome friend that had been smashed by the evil Dakota Condor. Tawni curled her lip and sneered before her eyes caught the group huddled by the front door. With eyes as wide as frying pans, she jabbed her finger into Zora for a third time.

"What?" she groaned into her pillowed mask.

Tawni grabbed her short ponytail and pulled her head up, releasing a squeak from Zora. Both girls paused what they were doing.

Chad gave them a weak smile, holding steadfast in a hug he had been yearning for. A thought occurred to him quickly and he became anxious. What had they done with Ziva?

Sonny sensed his worry and she gazed into his eyes. "What?" She felt a sense of dread. Maybe he had to go back, or he had messed up royally while over there saving America and giving them so many rights. Whatever it was, she didn't want to hear it. Not right when he got home.

Connie waved her arm at the two girls on the floor, who hurriedly gathered their items and left the house behind the older woman.

Chad shook his head. "Nothing. We'll talk in the morning," he promised. A sly smile spread across his face. He scooped her up in his arms, to her complete surprise, and carried her down the hallway toward the bedroom. They spent the night in each other's company.

**I was going to write some big, epic chapter, but I don't currently have it in me. Sorry. My life's crowded so I literally have to schedule in some typing time. It stinks.**


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